In Richmond, CA, the father of a 9-year old autistic student assaulted an 11 year old student who had been bullying the 9-year old. The two students rode the bus together. After having enough of the bullying, ‘Dad’ boarded the school bus, snatched the kid up by the hair, tossed him around and threatened to do the same to other students watching if they bullied his child. This was an extreme reaction to most, but I’m sure others can relate to the feelings of anger.
Imagine your child comes home stating they are the victim of a bully. Witness the scared and defeated look on their face. Because they do not like confrontation, they try avoiding/ignoring but the name calling persists. Kids are cruelly creative with insults so you get the idea. Then the verbal abuse becomes physical. And if there’s an audience, the bully now has to keep pushing for show. Things just get worse for the victim at this point, and this is what we want to avoid.
Even without the addition of being physically abused, the verbal and emotional damage of being bullied is just as harmful. As parents, we are vulnerable to feelings of not being able to watch and protect our children every second of the day. So I can empathize with the father’s feelings of hurt, anger and rage. In the back of my mind I have considered the ‘discipline’ of a child not my own. But knowing the legal repercussions of my actions, I dismissed the thought. This is just proof that we all have our limits and this was it for this father.
My own child was bullied and verbally sexually harassed because she rejected the advances of a young man who thought it was appropriate to spread a malicious rumor about her that resulted in total strangers at school screaming vulgarities at her daily. She ‘took it’ for 6 months before telling an adult from fear of being bullied even more. But the breakdown that followed was an emotional overflow of frustration where she admitted that she was angry enough to commit acts of violence if it continued. I was fortunate enough to get involved before that happened. But I had to take a moment and curtail my own anger until I was calm or maybe I would be the story everyone is reading about ‘Mom of bullied student goes ballistic’.
How would you react as the parent of the victim or as the parent of the bully? We are living in a generation where ‘Stick and Stones still break bones and Names can push us Over the Edge’.
Trying to figure out exactly when I fell in love with sports is a difficult one. I could have been any age, I don’t remember. Was there some pivotal moment I can’t recall? I just remember loving sports my whole life, as if it is a part of me…a big part of me. Watching and playing sports quenches my thirst. I’m not sure where that thirst comes from but I always walk away feeling better after a game. As if my inner sports soul is back on balance. As an adult I still have the same anxiety and excitement I had when I was younger. I remember playing on the Point Pleasant Boro 12 Year Old All Star baseball team. Being named to it blew my mind. That year the league experimented with letting the players vote on who made the team and lucky enough I did. It was the best feeling in the world getting that All-Star uniform. I will never forget it. Black and Gold like the Pittsburgh Steelers. I’m sure I could name everyone on that team and their positions. I certainly remember the coaches as my Dad was one of them. He also happened to be the coach of my little league team that year, the Astros. The league champion was also named the All-Star Coach. I’m sure it is much more complicated these days.
The day was certainly long when you had a 5:00pm game at the age of 12. I would literally count down the hours. ”8 more hours until we hit the field, 7 more hours, 6 more hours.” People these days tell you to be present, in the moment if you will. I was not a kid who was “present” on game days. I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach all day. Thinking about the game and who we were going to play. As if there was something more at stake than just a game. All I wanted to do was play, come up big, and be out there with my teammates. As an adult I still have the same feeling when I watch my son play. It’s not something I hold onto so I can hold onto my youth. I just can’t shake it! I’m as fired up to watch my son play as if I was getting ready to play myself. I still find myself counting down the hours.
This is one of the great rewards of being a parent. Walking through my memories of being my son’s age and being a part of this journey with him. Trying to remember what I was thinking at 8 years old. My son’s first year in “kid pitch” is winding down as the summer begins. The team and my son are doing well. My memories of this age are not the ones playing out in front of me. I thought the other kids I was playing against were throwing fastballs the speed of Nolan Ryan. Hitting with the power of Mike Schmidt. None of that seems to be happening as I watch my son’s team play. I’m reminded when I talk to my son after the game his perspective is the same. He thinks he is Coco Crisp facing Tim Lincecum and Buster Posey. “Dad that guy threw pretty hard! But it was easy to hit him.” Now that certainly sounds familiar.
I’m definitely not one of those overbearing parents. I cheer for my son and let the coaches’ coach. When he comes up to me during the game, as he has a habit of doing after he does something good I will whisper in his ear that he did a good job. It’s a difficult balancing act to support your son and teach him the humility of sports. If he strikes out or makes an error he again will find his way over at times with water in his eyes and on the verge of tears. I will also whisper in his ear and remind him that his favorite player Coco strikes out. And that the beauty of baseball and all sports is that you will get another chance to do better the next time. It may take that extra moment or hug but he bounces back and that smile of his is not far behind.
‘Love’s Lost Attraction’
Oh the fickle ways of love and relationships, it seems they just get more interesting as the relationship progresses. I have always been told and tried to reinforce the concept that Love is unconditional, but that unconditional love has developed layers that even I can’t peel back. I listened to a letter aired on a radio show from a man who was concerned about whether his actions were ‘shallow’ because of his current feelings about his wife of five years.
He wrote about how he loved his wife, professed his respect for her and continued to treat her well, as a gentleman should. But he was no longer physically attracted to her because of the weight she had gained since the birth of their child; now almost five years old. He shared that she gained over 50lbs, and despite his efforts to work out with her and trying to help her eat right, she had not committed to the efforts to lose weight and feels that he should love her no matter what size she is or how much weight she gains.
Now, I know from personal experience that weight is a super sensitive subject for men and women. Not to mention that we all go through physical changes during the course of our lives. The debate about whether or not it’s shallow for a mate to lose interest because their partner has gained weight is a valid topic for a few reasons. In all honesty, 50lbs worth of reason is valid to begin the conversation of what to do when the attraction is suffering. Have you ever heard the saying, “What you did to get them is what you will need to keep them?” That saying would apply perfectly.
No matter how we try to deny it, often the physical attraction is what sparks an interest to get to know someone better, from there we build to see if there’s more; love. So what happens if the physical attraction dissipates? Love can only withstand so much without the reinforcement of physical attraction before it too will wane under the pressure. This is what plants the seeds of cheating, infidelity, heartbreak- divorce.
I know both men and women who state that they are less attracted to their partner because of weight gain. The irony is that these are the same people who vowed to both give and want to receive ‘unconditional’ love — well if there’s a clause that says ” I love you as long as you don’t gain more than 15lbs” that sure sounds like a condition to me. And when the ‘Love’ you have for someone begins developing ‘conditions’, you have to ask if ‘Love’ is the right word to use anymore.
Disclaimer: Topics are meant to inspire debate/conversation; the content is not necessarily the opinion or view of the author.
Priscilla ‘Blayze’ Alford
Hey there-Toby “Blogger” T from GlobalTown Radio coming to you via our big daddy host, RadioSlot.com The month was November and my long time friend called me up while I was heading to the Great Pacific Northwest in a car full of wives, kids and dogs! (ok, only one wife)
“I want to do a podcast with you”.
I didn’t even take the time to think how I would possibly fit that into my already bulging schedule, a schedule mind you that was crammed full of potential projects that weren’t paying anything yet, however a podcast certainly fit into that category, so just like the rest of my time eaters, I said YES!
The next week Bob (my co-host) came to an office that I was currently alone in as my cubicle mate had already jumped ship before she sank…another story for another time. Bob laid his iPhone on the desk and proceeded to tell me about the app Spreaker that was going to make all this fame possible.
We fumbled our way through our first 30 minute show with very few “umms” and “uhhhs” only to find that we actually had a natural flow for this thing, and boy did it break up the monotony of working on the Titanic alone. We repeated the process every Friday and circulated our recordings via social media.
Fast forward a couple of short months later when Bob opens the door to a relationship with The Russian!
“We have a meeting at Starbucks with a guy who has an established radio station and studio in the city!”
Upon first glance we knew we were headed in the right direction as Alex sauntered to the table in his long leather coat, blue tinted shades, and wild grey hair shooting out in all directions seemingly looking for some sort of escape. You didn’t have to tell us that this man was responsible for gold records. That fact was oozing out of his pours.
The very next week, we were “in studio” and Bob and I didn’t know how to contain our excitement. Kind of a silent pee-pee dance, waving hands and shrieking like little girls but in an unspoken and still kind of way behind our wide eyes. What we were embarking on was not cemented until we took our first commercial break. OUR FIRST COMMERCIAL BREAK!!
Shortly after Alex did the 3-2-1 countdown on his hands from behind the switchboard then finger circled us to break, we heard the first sponsor come into our headphones. A real professionally produced commercial from Verizon Wireless, then another, then another. Then just before we came back from break we heard the audio introduction welcoming the listeners back….”Don’t touch that dial, you don’t know where its been”. and “Flip us on and flip them off”, then our bumper music played us in! I was hooked!
We were legit, and we just witnessed the coolest tag line EVER! Flip us on and flip them off! A perfect call to action. Tune in and say good by to the other people, or how about a little more rock and roll-Flip the switch on the future and tell the past to fuck off! Brilliant.
So that’s what you should go get your friends to do. Get lost in the magic that is RadioSlot. Contact us to see if you can have your own show and cram something else into your day! If nothing else, Flip us on, and flip them off!
It’s awesome to damn the establishment!
Lebron James and Dwyane Wade (2012, 2013)
Dirk Nowitzki and Jason Kidd (2011)
Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol (2009, 2010)
Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce (2008)
Tim Duncan and Tony Parker (2007)
Shaq and Dwyane Wade (2006)
Tim Duncan and Tony Parker (2005)
What does this list of 11 future Hall of Famers have in common? Well for one they all won championships! Two, each team had their very own dynamic duo. A Batman and Robin if you will. In some cases you could add another super hero with the likes of the Heat, Spurs and Celtics. I have no name for a third super hero. Are there super hero trios? I may need my son to edit this. #gettingold. I could go on and on with the list of past championship teams but Eight is Enough (a TV show that I happen to really enjoy). I believe you get my point; the NBA is not a single star league just ask Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Garnett (Timberwolves KG), Steph Curry the newest member, and Kevin Love a super star rumored to be on the move this summer. In the NBA it takes a dynamic duo to bring home the Larry O’Brien! (*Side note: Can’t the NBA come up with something better than the Larry O’Brien trophy. The NBA loses some street cred with that name. The “Vince Lombardi” or “Lord Stanley’s Cup” sound much more intimidating and street worthy).
At the end of the 2013 season the Golden State Warriors were onto something, finally! The NBA community tagged them a championship contender. Yes the Warriors had the “We Believe” team in 2007 but even then we knew the team wasn’t built for long term success. The playoff run was short lived and the team was ripped apart the following seasons. Sadly the Warriors didn’t make the playoffs again until the 2012/ 2013 season. Enter Steph Curry as Batman!
The 2013 playoff run was a great one. At the time the Warriors pulled off what was then considered an upset over the Denver Nuggets. I believe looking back we can all say the Denver Nuggets were not a very talented bunch. They even went as far as to fire the NBA’s coach of the year George Karl after the Warriors sent them packing in round one. It was a perfect storm for the upstart Warriors. A crazy home crowd, a hot shooting Steph, a healthy Andrew Bogut, and a rookie named Harrison Barnes who decided the spot light of the playoffs was his new playground. Anyone see Barnes since?
In round two against the defending NBA Champs San Antonio Spurs…. Ray Allen from the corner….good! “POW!” The Warriors took the eventual Western Conference Champs to 6 games all the while looking like they very well could have pulled the series out. With the Warriors run into the second round of the 2013 playoffs the world had new expectations and the team a new hope! Steph Curry about to make the leap to a superstar level. The fans and front office knew it was just a matter of time. The Warriors went out and signed Andre Iguodala to a 4 year $46M deal. This also included losing unprotected first round picks in 2014 and 2017. A mighty sum for a guy who averaged 9pts a game, turnover prone, with a not so dependable jump shot. Certainly a defensive stopper and a nice piece to a puzzle but no Robin. Klay Thompson a third year pro and part of the splash brothers. Klay leads the league in not passing. This is not a stat anyone dreams being apart of. Klay was the only player in the league to pass the ball approximately 49.4% of the time he got the ball. The only player in the league under 50%! Klay averaged 38 touches a game and was only credited with 19 passes per game. I repeat the only player in the league! I know he is part of the splash brothers so he can shoot and that’s a good thing but lets not get crazy with Klay and his efficiency. Klay’s player efficiency was below the league average on a per minute production. And yes this stuff matters! Again no Robin. This list of average to above average players on the Warriors goes on; Andrew Bogut, David Lee (I admit this guys is a double double machine but I need to see him do it when it counts). My eyes tell me he is a stat stuffing machine and nothing more. Draymond Green, Harrison Barnes, the league is filled with these type of players. Certainly all of these guys play a role and in some cases a very important one but Steph needs help! His Bat signal will be bright this off season and it’s up to Bob Meyers and Joe Lacob to answer the call.
The 2013 – 2014 Warrior season went as well as it could have in the Western Conference. The Warriors won over 50 games and made it to the playoffs. I would say they almost over achieved by taking the Clippers to a 7th game and nearly pulling it off. Based on their current roster the past season was a good one. The Warriors didn’t over achieve or under achieve, they simple achieved. Anyone who truly thought the Warriors were title contenders had significantly over rated the roster and studied the leagues history very little.
The summer of 2014 is going to be a big one for the Warriors and the front office. Again no first rounder in what many say is the deepest draft in years. To add a little salt the Warriors currently have no salary cap room. Their one mission over the next year is to find Steph’s Robin. If they don’t the Warriors will continue to make early exits in the playoffs year after long year! Iggy is getting older, Bogut is unreliable to stay healthy, Lee is frustrating, Klay is a ball hog. The history of the league or should I say the history of winning in the NBA mandates you have two superstars. The Warriors need to find one and there maybe a little “Love” in their future! #anythingittakes